Yoga As A Tool For Recovery

I had read about yoga for years online. Yoga made sense to me as a beautiful way in which to exercise and relax. What turned me off about yoga was my perception that only tree hugging, skinny Minnie's that wanted to show off their toned asses in form fitting pants actually practiced yoga in America. I knew that there were more pure forms of yoga (and meditation) being practiced around the world, but those spiritual, "Ommm" types were even more foreign than the skinny Minnie's. Either way, it would not have served me well to attempt to practice yoga (or meditation) when I was drinking. I would have likely tapped into the "feel good" aspects of yoga, but surely would've pulled out my back or hip practicing under the influence. Yoga wasn't for me then even though I suspected it to be a good and healthy modality.

It wasn't until my fifth month of sobriety that I began to entertain the idea of yoga classes. I was hungry in spirit to try a host of different and varied approaches to obtaining a better life and also maintaining my sobriety. The Internet age is SO wonderful for those who wish to branch out and learn about new things! I was able, from the privacy of my living room, to read about what works for other people. I became very open to try whatever seemed to work to keep others sober, and perhaps just as importantly, what kept them happily on the path of recovery. Yoga and meditation popped up on the net again and again as a proven tool of recovery in the lives of all kinds of addicts. My research revealed a dozen times over that a yoga practice could increase my chances at remaining contentedly sober.

I had all the usual reservations: I was far too fat, I surely wasn't flexible, I was too old, I really didn't want to embarrass myself, I didn't have anyone to join with me, I'd hurt myself, I didn't have the proper Lulu lemon pants, I'd look like a whale in Lulu lemon pants, the class was too early in the morning, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, ad infinitum. 

But it was meant to be. Within a week or so of having avoided the yoga thing altogether, a friend supplied me with the pants, my local YMCA started a yoga class, I found a yoga mat, and my mind kept returning to the idea. Finally, I got up one morning and just went. I perched in the very back of the class and muddled through. Yes, I was a hot mess! I was the biggest girl in class, my hair wouldn't stay in its bun, I couldn't do one-tenth of the asana (poses) but something sparked in me. The instructor said one thing that resonated with me all the way to my bones. "Your mat, your practice." I realized very quickly that I was in charge of what happened on my mat. I was only in competition with myself provided I kept my eyes on the instructor and my own mat. Also the word "practice" resonated with me suddenly. I could practice yoga and get better over time. I wasn't expected to master yoga, but I could practice it. I didn't understand a word of the foreign, ancient Sanskrit words spilling from the instructor's mouth (Savasana?! What the hell is an Adho Mukha Svanasana?!) but that added a touch of mystery and I knew I could learn the terms if I wanted. I left the class a hot mess but feeling great. I had mad energy for that whole day. I also woke up sore for three days.

I had overdone it, but I was also using muscles that hadn't gotten any real love in a decade or longer. My sporadic & short lived, three month long, intense love affairs with the elliptical machine, the treadmill, and weight machines hadn't prepared me in the least for yoga. And oddly, despite my sore limbs, I couldn't wait for the next class. It didn't take long before I began rolling out my mat at home and practicing the things I learned in class.

It has only been a short while but I can attest to yoga (and meditation) being a powerful tool in recovery from alcohol addiction for ME. I am more happy, more centered, more present and aware. I feel accomplished after practicing yoga, I feel truly empowered. I am getting into better shape. I know that after a good yoga session, I will feel more calm and relaxed but also energized with a true sense of well-being. Yeah! Just from practicing yoga.

There is also a real sense of "working things out" when I am on my mat. Pushing through the uncomfort of a particular asana (not pain, mind you...uncomfort) focuses my mind as surely as it focuses my body. I work out frustrations, release tensions, tackle problems, grit it out. There are also stretches and poses that are so physically pleasurable that I obtain a natural high. There isn't much left to keep me up at night if I work it out on my mat.

My sobriety toolbox contains more than just yoga. I still attend AA meetings (in person and online). I read recovery literature daily. I pray. I study addiction. I meditate. I stay in contact with other people in recovery. I write about my journey here on this blog. I am constantly trying to find new ways to enjoy recovery and being sober. That said, I can see yoga as a mainstay in my life. I have only tipped the iceberg of this yoga thing but it's an exciting addition to my life. I'm glad that I pushed past my preconceived notions about yoga culture in America, and just took that damn first class. My life is ever-better for it.