The Strays

I try to give every yoga practice, every meditation, every prayer a clear intention. My intentions can be as broad as simply honoring God for being my creator to more specific purposes such as favor with a specific person so that I can land a particular job. I can't claim to know for sure whether yoga (with intention) is truly spiritual, but I do feel with my whole being that prayer and meditation are a tangible form of spirituality for me.

I pray often for discernment - the ability to understand or see clearly people, things, or situations.- One concept that I can never seem to discern well are the elusive signs or lessons from my Creative Force (aka God, Higher Power, the Lord, etc.). Here is a recurring example that I was faced with again today: One of the problems that I deal with daily in my own life is that I don't think well of humanity in general. Like most alcoholics, I have a "me vs them" mentality. "They" are bad people, "they" are ridiculous, "they" are the problem, things would be just fine but for "them". My perception of people as the enemy does nothing for my spirituality. Every great belief system in the world can agree that the most important keys to an enlightened existence is love, acceptance, and tolerance of our fellow man.

Because I have such a problem with my world view of people, I pray often for a softening of my heart toward people. Each time that I spend any significant amount of time studying or praying in this area, I encounter a stray animal. This never fails to be a heartbreaking experience for me. I worry for animals they way that most people worry for human children. I've always been this way. I have a way with animals. We seem to understand one another, and I usually become fast friends with the world's critters, especially domesticated strays. My heart just goes out to them in a way that I can't seem to muster toward people. I've often thought to myself (and aloud) that if I had one-tenth of the compassion for humans as I do all animals, I'd be the most loving person on earth.

Today, as I made my way toward the Prayer Center for my biweekly visit, I prayed that I would be shown some book or receive some great awakening in my spirit for loving people. I had plans to read about St. Francis, who was notorious in his love-walk with God and Man (and animals.) But as soon as I stepped out of my car at the prayer center, I was met by a female Pitt bull. I wasn't afraid in the slightest, and she turned out to be an affectionate and loving sort with no collar. An inquiry inside confirmed that she is a stray who has been hanging out at the center for a few, very cold days. The fathers at the center have been feeding her, but she is so friendly that she is trying to crawl into the cars with the guests of the prayer center. Hearing this broke my heart in two. Here was a loving animal who wants nothing more than a family to take her home.

I prayed for that dog during my prayer time in the chapel, and couldn't get her off of my mind in order to properly study St. Francis. Finally, I decided to go outside and walk with the stray. She followed me to Mary's Prayer Garden and I said yet another prayer for the stray there. When I left a couple of hours later, I was worn out from feeling sad for that dog. I sure do not understand why she was put in my path today. My Higher Power surely realizes that I couldn't take her home... I can barely feed the two stray cats that I already saved. I don't know anyone who could give her a home. The whole scenario did nothing to appease my desire to love people. If anything, I was even more disgusted with people because I know someone had dropped her off, abandoned her somewhere in the surrounding area. I certainly didn't feel better for this experience.

I went home and, after cleaning my house, rolled out my mat and dedicated my yoga practice to the strays of the world... maybe not just for the four legged ones this time. Truth is that I know an awful lot of human strays as well. And I know exactly how they feel because I've been one of them. Maybe if I cannot love all people right now, I can start with loving the strays, empathising, feeling and showing compassion for them as well as the four legged ones. It's a start...

As for the Pitt bull stray, she is still heavy on my mind this evening. My heart hurts for her. I still do not know what to do for her. I will continue to pray for her. I do think that she offered me a small slice of growth regarding my fellow man and for that I am grateful to her.