Today is a perfect example of ritual taking me from a sketchy head space and into ease and comfort. The ground is covered with snow and ice with more snow and ice falling as I type. Inches upon inches of the white stuff are forcing the fact that I am going to be stuck in this small home for (possibly) days. I enjoy being here, however, I am sharing the tiny space with a twelve year old, a man, and two cats. It's -tight- and getting smaller by the hour.
Days of inclement weather used to signal one hell of an alcoholic binge. I'd stock up on liquor and cigarettes, and spend the remainder of the storm in a drunken, horrifying daze. The close quarters, coupled with my beloved family members getting more and more irate with my sloppy state, would have led to epic fights and morbid discontentment all around. Even the cats would have suffered under the heavy cloud of bad vibes and cigarette smoke.
Today I experienced none of that living death. I knew that at some point in the day my family would feel the touch of "cabin fever" and venture out in the white wonderland for some fun. I had spent the day cooking comfort food and watching movies but remained carefully aware of the coming time when I could have my own brand of fun. As I waited patiently for cues that my kid wanted to play in the snow, I went about gathering the items that I'd need for my own ritual-
I prepared a big thermos of iced water mixed with sliced fruit and I took my vitamins, then made sure that I had a 45 minute playlist prepared for my alone time. Following this, I picked out a sexy but comfy yoga outfit, folded the clothes, and placed them in my bathroom with a clean towel and favorite body lotion. I made sure that my small alter was set with my chosen crystals & stones, incense, and candles and that yoga props were within easy reach.
I didn't have to tell my family of my plans or rush them in any way. I knew that it was easy enough to patiently watch and wait. In hindsight, the whole preparation was also part of the entire ritual. I experienced an excited sense of anticipation, and I had a chance to set an intention for my yoga practice. I spent my time thinking "higher thoughts" as I went about my day.
Eventually, my kid began to beg her dad to go outside with her. I made a pot of coffee for energy as they began to bundle up in layers. By the time they headed out the door, I had drank my energizing coffee and had a smile on my face. I stood for a few minutes letting the quiet of the house settle around me before heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. Afterwards I turned off all unnatural light, opened the blinds, lit candles, fired up my playlist, and spent forty minutes on my mat in pure bliss. I didn't follow an online yoga class, preferring to let my body be my guide. I can't fully explain how intensely wonderful that it was to simply -Be-, simply following my own inner cues, as I stretched and performed a variety of asana. It became a beautiful, stress busting, flowing dance of acceptance and raw contentment as I practiced in front of the large windows, watching the snow and ice softly swirl. As my playlist drew to conclusion, I stretched out on my mat and thanked God during a much needed Shavasana.
By the time that my family came in smiling and shivering, I was a centered and loving soul without a care in the world. I knew that we had everything that we need to wait out this storm, and that we are safe and happy. The rest of the day fell in place smoothly. I don't feel trapped or anxious. I simply "Am" as the weather continues to rage outside. Now, I think chocolate chip cookies are next on the docket for this chilly, perfect evening.
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